Everything You Need to Know About Tantric Sex
What is Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex is a method to bring mindfulness into the bedroom by focusing on mind-body connections. It's a way to deeply connect with your partner through massage, slow intercourse, eye contact and breath work.
Tantric sex is just one part of a spiritual belief system called tantra, originating from India, with the goal of exchanging sexual energy between partners, to encourage spiritual healing and growth.
What are the Benefits?
Tantric sex can be a meaningful way to deepen the sexual intimacy you experience with your partner, by putting you both in a calm, affectionate and meditative state.
Benefits include awakening your sexual energy, discovering full-body orgasms, and enhancing the communication and communion with you and your other half. It can also lengthen your sexual encounter, by allowing it to become longer-lasting than it would typically be. This is because you'll take more time to engage in the buildup and foreplay, as well as holding off on climax during intercourse.
How to Practice Tantric Sex
If you and your partner wish to experiment with tantric sex, here is some guidance to get you started:
1. Prepare Yourself and Your Sacred Space
Before you start, it's important to shower and wear something that you're comfortable in. You'll then want to find a space that is safe and familiar to you both. In this space, you can set the mood by dimming the lights, playing calming music, and lighting candles or an incense. You may also wish to set your phone to 'do not disturb', to avoid any distraction.
2. Begin With Eye Contact
Prolonged eye contact is where total acceptance of the being is practiced - there is nowhere to hide. In this moment, you become fully vulnerable to the other person.
To make sure your eyes don’t dart back and forth, you try looking left eye to left eye and right eye to right eye for 30 seconds. Do just this and nothing else. You can hold conversion, laugh together, cry, whatever emotions arise during this - just keep the eye contact strong. You can do this for however long feels right - we recommend at least 2 minutes to see the full benefits.
3. Create a Circuit
This might feel uncomfortable to begin with. Creating a circuit is a method of exchanging energy to feel more connected with each other. Start by placing your palm on to your own heart and take a deep breath. Reach across and place your other palm on your partners heart. They should also do the same, so that you create a circuit of energy between you. Next, synchronise your breathing with slow and deep breaths. Aim to maintain eye contact during this.
3. Become Physical
Now you can become more physical with each other. Don't feel pressure to rush into penetration - remember that the key to tantric sex is patience. There are no exterior distractions, no where else to be. This time is purely for the two of you, unspoiled.
For this reason, you may start with deep, slow kissing or a sensual full-body massage.
4. Fully Embrace Each other
We recommend to set your expectations before you start the tantric sex experience together.
If you decide to engage in foreplay and intercourse, the 'yab-yum' position allows you to maintain your intimacy and connection. This is where the penetrative partner sits cross-legged while the receptive partner sits in their lap with their legs wrapped around their lower back. As you embrace each other, try to continue breathing deeply, staying mindful of your body’s pleasure, and moving in slow, meaningful rhythms.
4. Play With Edging
Tantric sex is all about patience, not immediate gratification. To 'edge' is to hold off on orgasming, if to orgasm at all. It is where you are brought to the brink of climax in cycles, holding off your orgasm for an increased and heightened pleasure upon climax.
